Monday, August 26, 2013

Guilt


I feel a little guilty here.

I've come to Germany as a missionary, and right now it feels like I'm on vacation! I know I'll be teaching soon, but even then, I still get to live in a place I love so much! Doesn't everyone wish they could do this? Why do I get to? I've been wrestling with these questions. Yesterday the new staff went on a picnic to a beautiful spot along the Rhine river. As we munched on sandwiches and chips, I asked the group sitting with us, "Does anyone feel like a missionary yet?" They all laughed, but I was only half joking.


Part of why I have felt guilty is because I see a lot of deep hunger in the world that I am not helping to meet here in Germany. Children are dying from lack of food and clean water; babies are being abandoned...while I'm picnicking on the Rhine. It's a sobering thought. While I don't fully understand why or have the answer, a quote from Frederich Buechner brings some clarity.

"The place God calls you to
is the place where your deep gladness
and the world’s deep hunger
meet.”

Yes, there are sick people, and starving children, and war torn countries. Those atrocities should break our hearts the way I'm sure they break God's. This sounds almost calloused, and I want to tread carefully, but meeting those needs is not my deepest passion.  And I don't think that's an excuse to ignore those needs, but a freedom to move toward what God has placed on my heart. My deep gladness comes from teaching, and that is one of the biggest needs here at BFA. And maybe I'm teaching and equipping kids who will someday help to meet the needs of those dying of hunger or disease.

There is much more to say about "the place God calls you" but I'll save it for another post.

1 comment:

  1. Ahhh I think this is so good, Kate!

    While it's true that we are called to the hungry and impoverished... we are also called to give a voice, affirm, love, invest, support, encourage, bring hope & grace, and above all - share the person of Jesus with those in our lives. The children at BFA need to know God just as much as others in the world, and to do God's work is to share HIs Name... in whatever capacity that looks like. In this way, we are all missionaries in the cities we live in... as we are directed and guided by God to tell others about Him. That is exactly what you are doing as you use the gifts God has given you in Germany!

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